Surrogacy, Your Rights as an Intended Parent

Intended parents have specific statutory rights:

• Unpaid time off for up to 2 antenatal appointments with the surrogate (capped at 6.5 hours each, including travel and waiting time), a day-one right

• One IP: up to 52 weeks adoption leave (and up to 39 weeks Statutory Adoption Pay, subject to 26-week employment qualifying period)

• Other IP: up to 2 weeks statutory paternity leave and pay

• Shared Parental Leave: up to 50 weeks shareable between both IPs

Important: IPs must intend to apply for a parental order within 6 months of the child's birth. Only one IP can take adoption leave, the other takes paternity leave. This decision must be made before informing employers and cannot be swapped.

Sources: Acas, Gov.uk, Working Families, TUC.

The surrogacy process involves multiple stages, each with potential workplace impact:

1. Matching with a surrogate (often via an organisation like Surrogacy UK), no statutory time off

2. Legal consultation and surrogacy agreement (not legally enforceable in the UK, but best practice)

3. Fertility treatment cycles at a licensed clinic

4. Pregnancy and birth

5. Parental order application: must be made within 6 months of birth; typically takes 4–9 months to be granted; at least one IP must have a genetic connection to the child

For international surrogacy: additional absence for travel, legal processes in both jurisdictions, and potential extended stays around the birth.

The psychological burden of surrogacy is significant: anxiety about the surrogate's wellbeing, feelings of guilt about not carrying the child, societal judgment and disclosure decisions, and the emotional complexity of surrendering control over the pregnancy.

Surrogacy is not exclusively a same-sex male pathway, it is pursued by heterosexual couples, single people, and all relationship configurations.

For line manager communication: 'I am pursuing a family-building process that involves multiple stages over an extended timeline, including legal and medical appointments' is generally enough if you prefer to keep specifics private.

In the UK, the surrogate is the legal mother at birth regardless of genetic connection. You will need to apply for a Parental Order after the birth to become the legal parent.

This legal uncertainty adds a specific layer of stress; a brief mention to your manager that timelines are governed by a legal process can help, even without sharing the details.